Saturday Shopping
Didn't update yesterday because of the terrible headache. Thank the Lord I was okay this morning so that I could go to church.
So, yesterday I went Chinatown to shop with Tammy. Well, i've never been to chinatown weeks before CNY before! Because I'm really afraid of crowd and people. haha! Turned out not a bad experience actually. But I still couldn't stand the crowd....not a crowd person. But I wasn't so bad, think if it was next saturday it will be a lot worse than this.
Anyway, getting out of Outram mrt we walked to CK and then the wet market to look at clothes. Really a shot up price! But we didn't know how to bargain...so... >.<
But I saw quite some nice tops over there, think i'll be going again tomorrow. We also walked OG and the busy roadside CNY stalls set up. There are a lot of cheap CNY goods there. But, like I said, a lot of people. Can't imagine going there on CNY eve!
After Chinatown we went PS, coz i needed to go carrefour. Hey...Carrafour's stuff are dirt cheap! I mean the stationaries! 200 filing pockets for $6!!!! I bought 100 for $8+ at Popular..... sob...
But quality wise I don't know. But shouldn't be much of a diff....sigh. That's it, I'm gonna do my shopping there next time! =P but it's so far....
But what I enjoyed most is the fellowship with Sis Tammy throughout the trip. We talked about church stuff, and over lunch she told me about her past attitude. The Lord has really changed her lifestyle and desire. Today in Sunday School we learnt that the indication for spiritual change is not sudden emotions, but the change in desire and attitude. Things once our pursuit and motivation becomes secondary compared to spiritual things of the above which we once thought useless and vain. How great is the Lord!
Really look forward for the youths to gather again. We've lost so many people these 2 years. (Lost with no negative meanings...) We shall meet each other in Heaven next time =)
Must pray for the youths...it's getting too little of ministries like the Youth Fellowship. That especially. 195 ministry also. Among the remaining, the core group of us are getting busier (thank God i still have some liberty)and some of us are not as inclined to join us in these ministries. the next generation is still too young...sigh. Must really pray. The youths should gather to pray.
Having said that, i need to pray too.... my praying life ain't that good either.
sigh.
"Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not."
- Jeremiah 33:3
the Bible is the Word of God
the Bible is the Word of God, preserved to the jot and tittle or otherwise.
None of both sides are stupid. "A" and "B" side are just as able to draw up in depth thesis on their stands. Somewhere along the same path they chose to draw up an invisible line which separates them from each other. This line, whether it exist or not, I don't know. Even if it does, I am not sure whether they drew in at the correct spot. Somewhere they chose to diverge. Somewhere, somehow A and B thinks they are different. Vastly different.
I, like A and B, am blinded with the veil of unholiness that can only be torn by death itself, when I should cross over the river. This veil, unlike the one our Lord Jesus Christ has torned, was built up first by Adam and Eve, and later sustained the preserved by our sin, pride, and prejudices. This same veil blinds me (and perhaps even A and B) from knowing whether that dividing line exist or not, or whether it is drawn correctly.
One day, when we shall see each other in Heaven (for neither A or B's doctrine can cancel out faith in the Lord Jesus Christ which saves us from our sins and the depths of hell), our Heavenly Father will let us see the truth. I look forward to that day, that glorious day where all other divisions may be finally proven right or wrong.
Till then, my statement will still be this:
"The Bible is the Word of God".
Be Thou My VisionBe thou my vision, O LORD of my heart.Nought be all else to me save that Thou art.Thou my best thought by day or by night.Waking or sleeping Thy presence my light.The Church's One FoundationThe Church’s one foundationIs Jesus Christ her Lord,She is His new creationBy water and the Word.From heaven He came and sought herTo be His holy bride;With His own blood He bought herAnd for her life He died.She is from every nation,Yet one o’er all the earth;Her charter of salvation,One Lord, one faith, one birth;One holy Name she blesses,Partakes one holy food,And to one hope she presses,With every grace endued.Though with a scornful wonderMen see her sore oppressed,By schisms rent asunder,By heresies distressed:Yet saints their watch are keeping,Their cry goes up, “How long?”And soon the night of weepingShall be the morn of song!
Baby Blues II
Baby Blues!
I love it because:
1) Satirize reality of having a family. But always liftup the stay-at-home moms and you can see the endearing tone of the authors towards the MacPharsons....real lovely..
2) reminds me of my brother n me....esp the bullying part.
3) cute
4) cute
5)cute
6) CUTE!!
click on the pic to view it.
Sunday Message and Sunday School
Pastor's message this morning gave me an answer to a challenge of this world. There have been poeple who were clinically dead but came back alive. When they did, they said that they witness no heaven and no hell.
Recorded in the gospel was a man name Lazarus whom died too, but the Lord Jesus rose him from the dead. When he came back, nothing was mentioned about seeing either heaven or hell too.
Well, remember that God is in control of one's life and death. So if He allows someone to be clinically dead and then come back alive, it is already in His will and foreknowledge that the person should not die. So then there will be no heaven or hell shown to the person during the period of his physical death.
Come to think of it, it is doubly true when you consider the nature of going heaven or hell. There is no such thing as a purgurtory. When one enters into heaven to be eternally with God or hell to be eternally damned, it is permanent and for ever. There is no shifting of places. So if the person who died would see these, he will not come back alive at all! Because God would have already decide for him to be there and stay there. If God wants him to come back to live, he would not have entered either of the eternal states in the first place. Hence the lack of visions.
As Christ Himself said, a perversed generation asks for signs. We are in corrupted state and are of a perversed and sinful generation. No signs will be given to us regarding heaven and hell.
I also started teaching the older children's Sunday school today. It's not easy. I think they are bored with me... =( Well just have to pray for wisdom and think of ways to make it interesting.
Anyway today's lesson was on the heaven declaring the glory of God, so though we don't see God, we know He exists.
I find atheist utterly foolish. They choose to believe things coming together by themselves rather than by a intelligent designer (and we arn't even talking about which religion's Designer).
So shall we try burying a pencil and pen near each other, and 1000 years later get the generation to open it up to see if there's drawings on the paper?
"In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth." Genesis 1:1
back to swiss
Nostalgic, but also fresh. Going back to scss, not as a student but a teacher. I see people who were my teachers are people whom i ought to call collegues now. But of course, i'm not use to it. For those who had taught me, and those who were there when i was still a student there, i don't think i will EVER get use to seeing them as collegue, or calling them by name (as some insisted). It's easier for those whom i didn't know before, though i still have my reserves. Well, just see how it goes.
It's very trial-and-error. I'd ask around to learn new things. But of course, the english dept is REALLY helpful. Ms Geryie, Mr Jefferey, Ms Kaur, Mrs Wong, Ms A Tan - they all helped me in my learning to teach and the syllabus. Mdm Nor taught me photocopying skills...haha. Trust me, that's EXTREMLY important. She is sooo friendly and cheerful, and that helps me feel comfortable. =)
Students wise...well, i can only blog about it some other time. Too early to judge. But one thing i must say - I am defeated. As in, since i've always been wanting to teach, i observe teachers. I thought i would have a WEE bit of knowledge at least on how to teach. But I don't really. God says He'll humble the proud... ah well... He did it. Thankful it's now. =D
It's a whole new experience to practise what you think is the way in front of 40 students. Especially when teaching 3N, there's a need for shameless confidence, which, I don't have enough of it to handle the class. (so is it a gd thing or a bad one?)
The other challenge would be to teach myself to be as good as can be in english. Confession: I'm not that good at it either. My grammatical errors use to torture my lit teachers. Ah well...
I don't want to have a lofty ideal of becoming a John Keating (Dead Poet Society) in the class/school. I don't want to want making a difference in somebody's life. I dare not expect myself to do that. Seeing from the survey forms, i know some of them really loves english or want to love it, all that i want is to be able to make their passion continue. Or, to explore the extent of this passion with them. For those who hates it, I want to develope interest in it.
Sounds great.
Problem is: how?
I'm still thinking about it.
Written on New Year's Day
Thanksgiving
2005 has passed by real quick. I thank the Lord for seeing me through this year. There were countless of blessings, as always. Perhaps the most significant one would be His preservation throughout the A level period.
A level is, as many have said, the most difficult exam one will ever sit. I’m not old enough to make a judgment yet, but I do believe it for a simple reason. – 2 years’ work cramped and MEMORIZED for the few days. The examiners have to make it harder by making it necessary to memorize AS WELL AS on the spot application. This year, the examiners got even funkier by setting unusual questions to throw me off balance. Oh well… God made me sane enough to write SOMETHING.
My utmost regret in this experience is the fact that I cannot look back and say I’ve done my best. I cannot look back and say that I’ve done my best and therefore it’s all up to God now. Not that if I did I would gain anything by my own hands, what I meant was that I did not give my best to God and allow Him to use me in anyway in that exam. Because having NOT done my best, I must be responsible for any consequences that God will place me, and I cannot say with surety that I am at peace with God. Regret is regret; a mistake is a mistake; we reap what we sow.
The great blessing in 2005 is the opportunity to do a production for gospel purpose. I was given opportunity to produce a skit on Jonah for the DVBS, and a Chinese translation of it in Bukit Batok Homes for the Aged and Thuja Home. Being student of literature and lover of films and plays, it is naturally in me to want to do one myself. Although armed with shallow knowledge, God was willing to let me produce a play on Jonah. The message is that God will save us if we repent. Indeed, the hand of God is never shortened to those who are humble, and will save them like how He saved Jonah and Nineveh. Anyway, the chance to do this work gave me opportunity to work with youths. Thank God for providing enough actors. Thank God the production did not cease. Throughout the whole period, I confess of my temper which might have injured many and show myself arrogant. My apologies. =)
From all the on stage technical screw ups, I learn that it is always AND WILL EVER BE, that man propose but God dispose. We may practice, but God is the one who decides if we can perform up to mark. It was only after the major screw up in Thuja Homes that more prayers were made for it, and as such God granted a smoother flowing of the play at Bukit Batok Homes. Thank God. Through this work my brother also came to know a bit more of me. He sees and knows some of my church friends and church now. Thank God. My hope is that one day we’ll serve together in the same church.
Pastor James always says we youths provoke them to work, and always praises us. I feel so ashamed. 2005 saw Carmen becoming less zealous in the things of God compared to the time where I was revived in love and faith in Him. In 2005, I have not prayed enough, have not commit myself enough to God, and have not trust Him enough. So 2005 is actually quite misspent…in a sense. There is no satisfaction when live is lived without God in mind and God as aim. This lack of zeal in Him is one significant regret I have in 2005.
But overall, I thank God for preserving me. Though love has faint, faith has not and I can still assuredly know I’m saved through the cleansing blood of the Lord Jesus Christ who died for my sins. I just pray that it will not be another disappointment in 2006.
New Year Resolution2006 will be a year of new experiences!! Let me name some of them:
1) Teaching in secondary school (English, sec 1s)
2) Teaching the older ones (upper primary kids) for block 195’s Sunday school
3) Working life, more mindful of the way money is spent
4) If God willing, Uni life.
Well, the first 2 are the most frightful ones. Haha! Teaching sec 1s is hard because I forgot what was expected of me and what did my teachers teach me when I was in sec 1. I have no idea what to do!! Really need God’s help. I also hope that I will be more than just someone who fills the shoes of another teacher; I don’t want to be just teaching examinable stuff. I want to be able to know one or two of them deeper. I want to be concern with the spiritual condition and morals of the student. Although in public schools I cannot teach the gospel, at least I want to teach them some life guidelines that God has stipulated. For example, to love each other, to do unto others as you want others to do to you, and MOST importantly, that they may all be humble enough to admit that they are under a higher Power. Man is not made from monkey and not maker of oneself. We exist because God wants us to, so we must not rob glory from God and think that we are the highest life form. I want them to want to know who this power we are subjected under is.
Teaching the blk 195 kids is also a challenge. For one thing, I’m not teaching them perishable and insignificant exam syllabus, I will be teaching them about God, Jesus, Himself. I will be covering the Attributes of God, and that is a dangerous task. I cannot anyhow make up God’s characters. I also need to let them be able to differenciate the Bible’s God. I am also new in teaching… So it’s a great responsibility that ought to push me towards greater prayer.
So what are my new year resolutions? This year’s theme for Church is Prayer. I think I’ll work around that also. Hmm… let me list my resolutions.
1)
Pray more often.All works are vain without prayer. I want to be like Moses, who dare not move another step forward if God will not go with Him. I ought to be as fearful as him – fearful about the lack of God in every step and every area in my life. Because where God is not there, it’s the devil who wants my soul in hell.
2)
Let not the throne of my heart be taken by / shared with anyone but God alone should sit on it.
It is idolatry to put things above God or even as high as God. I have my personal feelings and worldly concerns which many a times occupy my attention to them rather then focusing all on God. This draws me away from Him. Thus, to prevent the painful process of pruning, I can only pray for the ability to esteem God the highest.
3)
To be a godly lady. I have not really read in depth about what it is to be a godly woman. The Bible’s words on it is succinct, but many Christian woman had written about their experience and personal living of God’s succinct instructions. I would read and would aim to be likewise God-fearing, God-loving, and charitable person.
4)
To be more sober.My tongue is often unbridled and I speak a lot of nonsense. Though most of them are jokes, I know many has gone overboard and became ungodly. Once again I ask for forgiveness those that I hurt with my flippant words (especially boss!). =P An attribute of godliness is a “bridled tongue”, like the Bible specified. I need to be less flippant and more serious, in another words, sober.
5)
Show love towards my family more. To cook, help out in housework to lessen burden of my mother. To talk more often to them. To talk more often to my brother. To be a source of encouragement and guidance of my brother towards the things of God.
6)
Maintain the hobby of swimming. =PThat’s all I can think of, but they are already hard and will keep me occupied. Haha!!!! All of the above needs ardent and unceasing prayer.
Hmm…so it looks like 2006 would be an exciting year! May God lead me.
“Men ought always to pray and not to faint.” - Luke 18:1b
