"These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off, and were persuaded of them, and embraced them, and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth."
- Hebrews 11:13
27 April 2007
EXAM'S OVER!!!
I must shout to the world with joy from someplace very high...!
EXAM'S OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know, my nus and ntu friends, you guys must be jealous. My exam is only until 26th April. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! C'mon, i've got to pay a price you know....the 3 papers I have are squeezed together. hahahahahaha
I enjoy studying hard when I like and KNOW what I'm studying about.
But to try to study something (some-module) that I don't understand / don't know what is tested is painful. And it makes me too lazy to study.
Excuses lah...it's all because while I had the time to study (during the past 13 weeks of school) I didn't use them properly to clear my doubts. And now I have only a few days. How to understand!?!?!?!
Once again I am harming my own self... my stupid laziness is costing my grades (and my testimony).
Happy 59th birthday! Thank you for working your guts out to support the family. Thank you for quitting smoking before I was born for our sake. Thank you for being my father. I want no other father but you.
Hope you'll believe in the Lord Jesus Christ soon!
The same time that my grandfather died, my father got a Gout attack. One of his foot is swelling now and it hurts real bad. He can't work and can't walk properly. Saw doctor, but the medicine didn't work. They are at best pain-killers which does not work for long either.
Sian...see him limping like that, can't help him, feels terrible.
And now also have to think whether and how to get my BMT brother out for the cremation day.
And it is now one more dateline to meet, and my exams are coming soon.
Sian...how long more till things get back to normal...?
Today my grandpa passed away. He is not saved. I don't have much memory of him, I hadn't talked to him while he was alive, because he was rather senile already. But I still feel sad. And it made me think about a lot of stuff...
2 Timothy 1:9 - Who (God) hath saved us, and called us with an holy calling, not according to our works, but according to his own purpose and grace, which was given us in Christ Jesus before the world began.
The Westminster Confession of faith summarized the reason of God's choice well in Chapter 3 number 5: "Those of mankind that are predestinated unto life, God, before the foundation of the world was laid, according to His eternal and immutable purpose, and the secret counsel and good pleasure of His will, has chosen, in Christ, unto everlasting glory, out of His mere free grace and love, without any foresight of faith, or good works, or perseverance in either of them, or any other thing in the creature, as conditions, or causes moving Him thereunto; and all to the praise of His glorious grace."
God can forsee how our lives will be, i.e., whether one will eventually be a fruitless Christian or a Christian who will rebel but will only repent on his deathbed, or one who will do many evil deeds before repenting in his later years. But God's choice of who to save does not depend on these. Meaning, although God can see whether one will turn bad or good, He had not chosen those whom He knows will bear good fruit if He does not want to. Such is the randomness of salvation - such is the GRACE of God. God does not bestow salvation because he knows one will bear great fruit, if this is so salvation is no longer by grace, but by future merits.
The death of my grandfather reminds me of my grandmother, and also made me think about the inevitable death of my most loved parents. My grandmother was a devout buddhist. She would wake up early everyday to do her chants. She would not just go vegeterian twice a month. She had believes and compassion because her religion asks her to. My mother, too, wakes up early everyday, no matter how long she had slept, to do her chants. She tries to donate to the needy often, even though herself has not much money to begin with.
Of course, I'm not justifying their religion just because they do good works. In fact, God said that every "good" work done without Christ is still bad, as a filthy rag is. The thing is, we who know the truth, we who preach, we who insist and know that our God is real - are we as devoted? My mom, no matter how late she sleeps or how early she has to wake up, it is as if the 30 minutes chanting time is the default event in her morning whereby all else must revolve around it or be sacrificed - including sleep. I hardly do my 15 minutes devotion properly, and when I overslept, I cut that short.
Have we ever thought why God has chosen us? He chose us simply because He wills so. Sometimes I think to myself, if only my grandma or my mother are chosen, they would have loved God so much more than me and bring to Him so much more fruit. I mean, they are misled, but seeking and trying to attain what in their opinion is perfection. Yet we who HOLD the truth take God's love for granted and withhold our obedience and resources, thinking that God can understand, or that God will forgive us. True, He has forgiven us, but that is only because Christ died for us. So I always wonder, why can't we who knows the truth act like we do?
And then I see people who hear the gospel from their infancy, yet would reject it or shrink away from it. I see people who have confessed Christ but will not work for Him. I look at myself and see my lack and my own with-holdings. I get upset, if not angry.
Is salvation THAT cheap in our eyes? God saved us for nothing, you know? Nothing of what we do can add to His glory or deplete it. He didn't save us because we can be His best workers, we are only good workers (if we are, and if we actually work) because He taught us to. And others who strive their whole life to achieve heaven, perfection and peace are denied of it, simply because God did not choose them. Is our salvation so cheap in our eyes that we would not work more or love God more than these heathens?
I thank God for my salvation. And I pray He'll always remind me, and other Christians, from WHENCE we have been saved FROM, and so drives me to love Him more.
Just now, I went to my aunt's house where my grandfather lived, and saw his lifeless body on his bed. His skin has turned yellow, and his lifeless mouth gaped awide. My uncle brought his group of buddhist friends to chant for him to go heaven. I know he is not in heaven. And right now I just will not picture what hell is.
From now on, whenever I change a background hymn, I'll have the link to the lyrics n the right sidebar.
The current hymn is "I'd Rather Have Jesus". But, strangely, the midi starts with the chorus. *shrug*
Oh, by the way, to those who TAG, please remember to REFRESH the page to SEE YOUR TAG!
Have a nice weekend. I'm a little busy (no, actually, lazy) to type out the sermons recently. I'm too lazy. Shoot me!!!!!!!!!!! Someone slap me awake!! AHHHH!!!!
