29 July 2006

what? which? why? how?

What does "gentlness" in the Bible means?

Just now I was told of some opinions of me, by godly, well intentioned people. But now I duno what to feel.

How much of my character can I keep? What really is gentleness? What is expected of me?

I'm not an affectionate and gregarious person...not one who smiles and embraces explicitely, not one who's outspoken regarding my concern for others. I'm not those soft-spoken, measured stepped, soft wispy action lady. I'm not the society's idea of gentleness.

So far, the faults that I know of are these:
- short temperedness
- unbridled tongue

I am by nature playful deep down. How much of that playfulness is actually ungodliness and displeases God?

I really duno, I really really duno.

Is it wrong to spar with words? To be sharp tongued?

Is it wrong and unbecoming of me to try to speak in subtlety?

What is being harsh with children and being firm with children? What is the difference???

What??

How much of those comments did I reject and question now out of pride? Am I feeling sad now because of my pride? Is it because of that? Or are these comments really wrong? The one thing i can be sure is that they are well intentioned.

What? What? What? How? How? How?

i'm very confused now. I feel a little accused but I am wary of this unjustice feeling that I have. Becuase I know I can be prideful. But i really don't know how much of those comments shoud I take? I tried to look back on the things I do. Am i wrong herE? am i wrong there? is this wrong? is that wrong?

i duno i duno i duno i duno.

I really duno.

And I duno how much of my character should I change!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Impt note: I am not going against God or those godly people. I dun ask the above questions out of defiance. I really am asking.

I believe if those part of me that God wants me to change it is not to tie me down, and I won't lost my individuality becoz of those. Those that God is displeased with are the very things that i ought to change.

But I just want to know....which are those which I really need to change becuase it's God's displeasure, and which of those are because of their (though well intentioned) social stereotype, which of those out of misunderstanding?

which which which?

pray pray pray.....