On Marriage and Godly relationship
Ok...i delayed an update again. 'Cause Sunday Tammy came over to stay overnight. hehe.Anyway, on Sunday Aunty Liane spoke about BGR to us in Sunday School. It was definitely relevant and useful for us all. Hmm..I am but human, and of cause I do have affection. Sooner or later these things will confront me soon.
She spoke about having the right partner. She said in a relationship, the aim has to be marriage. I remembered Felicia also said that a relationship without marriage as the end is meaningless. I concur most ardently. Because without that in mind, dating and relationships are merely entertainment and the lust of both flesh and eyes - going out because someone is cute, enjoying physical intimacy without meanings etc. With marriage in mind, the priority of the relationship or courtship is to know each other better, to correct the other's and your own wrongs, and to learn to live and understand each other, as such a deeper love would be formed from it. I don't want a relationship to include physical intimacy, because such God would only allow between married couples. It ensures that the relationship is built on character love, not physical. That way, marriage would truly be what it is suppose to be - the union of 2, for love, companionship, and helpmate.
If God willing that I should have a partner, I would definitely want a godly relationship. It means to say that the courtship would not be enjoyment based. Like mention before, it would be a time to learn about each others' goals and mind towards God and marriage.
Aunty Liane and Uncle Swee Tee's courtship is an example to follow. They go to ECP to chat, thus allowing themselves to know more about each other. Most significantly, Uncle ST is a godly man who at that time was careful to abstain from physical intimacy. They did not hold hands till the wedding rehearsal!! One may think this a bit too extreme, but I think it a godly and God-fearing act. This is because it aims to be risk-free from going any further, and it upholds purity and modesty till marriage. It is something praise-worthy. =)
Purity and Passion - to the modern world it seems like 2 opposing words, and oxymoron. But to me it is achieveable. It is NOT for girls to go after guys, because God says that He will be the one matching the girl for the guy. It is not for Christians to go recreational dating, especially without God and marriage in mind. This is because, like said, it would be built on lust. The Bible says that even the thought without action is lust, therefore dating gives chances (plenty) for it. I pray that God will keep me from indulging in personal enjoyments that leaves Him out.
Felicia once ask me what do i expect of a husband... I think here are some thoughts:
1) Christian - real born-again Christians who are god-fearing.
2) More godly than me - Would be godly enough to edify and admonish me
3) Give God priority - in another words, like a Mary, not Martha. Martha thinks of details and works too hard to remember even though she is indirectly serving God.
4)Love the Lord more than me (this is the only way i can ensure he'll love me)
........for the not exclusively Christian characters......
5) Confidence (not arrogance. humility before God and men is important)
6) Conscientious.
7) Sensative to people's feelings, thinks of others before himself.
8) loves children
that's all i can think about.... can't believe i reach 8!! If it sounds like a perfect guy, maybe. haha! who wouldn't want that! =P Well i believe that when i leave it to God, God would find me one that matches me, that will complement each other.
But of course, if it's His will to keep single, then so shall it be.
Anyway, just leave everything to the Lord. ......easier said of course. Sometimes i find myself looking out too anxiously, and waiting too anxiously too. "You're only 18!!!", i would scream to myself in my head. Yup, i'm too eager, and sometimes it becomes ungodly because i would forget God. This is not putting God first and letting Him be in charge of my life. I need to change
Meanwhile, I know that what i need to do it so prepare myself to be a godly woman as well as to be a helpmate to my future husband, if have. Even the first one i am far from it! I may be a Christian, but i'm far from pleasing to God. I can't cook, I can't be sensative, I'm not kind, I'm not charitable, I'm not a good homekeeper, I'm not conscientious in my duties as daughter and student. WHAT AM I?!
I'm abit worn out know to expound on godly womanhood. I'll do that soon.
Meanwhile, I shall just work on my godliness.
"Who can find a virtous woman, for her price is far above rubies.." - Proverbs 31